It's been a long day. Everything has pretty much gone right...I think. But I don't like long days...I have no time to think...or too much time maybe. I just get tired.
I started to cry in ballet. I felt my eyes burning as the teacher was demonstrating glissades and assembles. I did the moves fine. The entire time we were at the bar I felt like a screw up. When the teacher corrects you it's supposed to be a learning experience, and I just took it as an insult. I kept telling myself in my head that I am not insecure. I felt insecure...
I came home feeling irritable. Nothing was funny and everything was serious. I have no idea why. A few little things happened after that that only heightened my mood. Now I'm just pissing everyone off and I kind of have no idea why.
So many things to do and so little time. So many things to figure out. I'm not worried about anything and that's what scares me. Maybe I should be.
I am a little worried about getting this homework done. Ha.
Simply existing. How terrible and frightening that is. No direction, no goal, no purpose. Wouldn't that be horrible? I feel like that sometimes. I think everyone does.
I have so many things inside that I could talk about and voice. I find myself telling people I hardly know because I've kept it in. And then I think, why did I tell them that? Strangers are sometimes the best people to talk to, you know? I mean, they don't know you. They can't judge you or think of you differently cause they don't have anything to go off of and they haven't the slightest clue about you. That's why they invented counselors. Ha. You're just paying a stranger to listen to you. I find that humorous by the way. People will do anything for someone to listen...care.
Well I suppose I should get to my history.
P.S. Ihop is giving short stacks for free tomorrow.
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