Thursday, February 16, 2012


I guess I always knew I was a different child. Runs in the family I suppose. Maybe. I spent my childhood being serious before my time, thinking and feeling way beyond what I should have at my age. I was ok with being alone, and playing alone.
Sometimes when I read a book, or watch a movie I get so caught up in the characters life I forget I have a life of my own. Sometimes, I'd rather be caught up in someone else's life, because I can't seem to get mine right.
I've accepted that most things are complicated. Even if they are described as plain and simple. I know there are consequences to everything, but sometimes I forget to care. I believe there are many ways to accomplish something, to get somewhere, and not all of them are right, or wrong. There's no one right way, because everyone is different, and has been raised different, and experienced different things. So the way one person views the world, and succeeds, will be different than how someone else views and succeeds...or fails.
Most people forget to be real. At least the ones I have met. I know a real person when I meet one, the person is always interesting, has a story(good or bad), and has succeeded, or traveled, or failed, or tried, or messed up many times. There's nothing wrong with talking about the Lord, or meditating, or quoting, or thinking about, or sharing...but most times people forget to be real. Anyway.
I'd like to go to Russia. I'd like it very much. So many things excite and fascinate me about it and I'm not sure why.
I feel like in everything we want to do in life there's always a give and take, a want and a need, and a sacrifice for the things that are important. One or the other, not both. Not both and not fair. Consequences to our actions.
Isn't it funny though, how a movie isn't interesting unless there is a huge overcoming for the character? A good plot, a good struggle or conflict? Why don't we want roses and perfection(I don't know why I said roses) and happily ever afters? One answer. It's not real, and we want real.