Friday, January 28, 2011

Why am I still awake?

My laptop is warm on my legs and the air is cold in my room. I've been up since 8:30am of yesterday morning. It's now 1:10am. I went to school all day and did many things in between and then watched kids till 11:15pm. You'd think I'd be exhausted and out cold in my bed. I'm not, I'm making a new post. I don't know how to feel. And I honestly don't know what to say. Many times I think I feel or think a certain way because I'm so tired physically. Sleep is hard for me to achieve so I try to avoid it.

Here's how I feel(and take note that it's probably because I'm tired):
I feel:
In want of too many things
Like everything is my fault
Like I'll never please anyone
Wanting to do something worth something

I just feel so...I don't know...I mean, everything is fine. For the most part.
I try to make people I love feel better, but the ways I show it, or the things I say always come out wrong and I only make things worse. It's a horrible result. Because my motive for doing it was...shall I say, good?
I'm horrible with words. This is why I wish life was a musical, so I could sing and dance everything that needed to be said. I freeze up when people want me to talk. I don't even know how to show someone I care with my words. I can't verbalize anything. I feel like a child when it comes to talking to adults or supervisors. Granted, I am doing better through each experience. I think...

Does anyone else have this problem of verbalization?
My problem has never been treated.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It's offcial, children are precious.

I feel like working with children and watching them or teaching them would make me not want to have any right now. Or be ok with not having any. It doesn't; I only want one more. Haha. Anyway, children are precious. They are such a joy. Parenting and working with them is hard but I think it's worth it. Because the Bible was right when it said children are a blessing. Cause they truly are.

Just some pictures from work this morning.
What a perfect shot. Ahhh. I love them.

Gahhhh he's cute.

Monday, January 24, 2011

My space

I finally did it! I made my very own blog. I've wanted to do this for awhile, but thought I never had anything important to say. Well, here I am. I guess we'll see what happens...

What's on my mind?
Calvin Arsenia's amazing music

That's about it. I need to get up for work tomorrow morning and it's way past my bedtime ;] I'll have more meaningful thoughts to write down next time.