My laptop is warm on my legs and the air is cold in my room. I've been up since 8:30am of yesterday morning. It's now 1:10am. I went to school all day and did many things in between and then watched kids till 11:15pm. You'd think I'd be exhausted and out cold in my bed. I'm not, I'm making a new post. I don't know how to feel. And I honestly don't know what to say. Many times I think I feel or think a certain way because I'm so tired physically. Sleep is hard for me to achieve so I try to avoid it.
Here's how I feel(and take note that it's probably because I'm tired):
In want of too many things
Like everything is my fault
Like I'll never please anyone
Wanting to do something worth something
I just feel so...I don't know...I mean, everything is fine. For the most part.
I try to make people I love feel better, but the ways I show it, or the things I say always come out wrong and I only make things worse. It's a horrible result. Because my motive for doing it was...shall I say, good?
I'm horrible with words. This is why I wish life was a musical, so I could sing and dance everything that needed to be said. I freeze up when people want me to talk. I don't even know how to show someone I care with my words. I can't verbalize anything. I feel like a child when it comes to talking to adults or supervisors. Granted, I am doing better through each experience. I think...
Does anyone else have this problem of verbalization?