Lying in my bed looking up at the ceiling.
Trying to to push everything out of my mind.
I'm so tired and I can't even doze off.
My head is reeling.
I have so many unanswered questions.
So many fears.
I ask God if He's listening.
I tell Him how horrible it is down here sometimes.
How unsafe I feel.
I begin to cry...
Sleep is only a distraction for me.
Someplace unreal to go.
In my dreams nothing can hurt, or sting.
I feel safe again.
I dream of somewhere far from here.
Of places beautiful, no pain is near.
I am whoever I want to be.
I can do anything without them stopping me.
But I cannot sleep and I cannot dream.
I am so weary.
I would give anything for a little peace of mind.
But I know it will not come.
Again, I ask Him if He's listening.
Because I don't think He is...