Friday, November 4, 2011

Put to rest.

It's hard to put something to rest when there are so many unanswered questions, so many wounds, and so many 'what if's'. An unconscious, constant battle in my mind.

"What's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget."

This sentence sums up everything I have been feeling. I forget because it's too much to remember all that happened. So many things people say to me, some lies, some truth. But what about me? I experienced it too, and no, I was not too young to know. I have feelings, and thoughts, and the truth. A selfish act. The after effects no different. What's done, is done. What was said, was said. What needs to be said, should just be said. Maybe people don't want to know the truth. Just leave it be, and walk away. What's tempting me to look? Why do I need to know? Why can't I put it to rest? A call to search further; go deeper. Something inside telling me it's not yet over. Something inside not satisfied. All the memories and all the words were enough for me. Yet people want to say more, because they know the truth! Just taking everyones word for it. I knew nothing, felt nothing. Even when he's gone, they're still telling me the same old lies. Well I know the truth; my truth.

So much could be said, but someday it will be put to rest.

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