Going back to where I started, it's not like I lost someone and couldn't find them. "Oh I lost them and decided to stop looking for them and move on with my life," no, sorry, incorrect. They became absent in body and soul. They disappeared from the earth, and from my life. That's how it should be presented and said. The last memory is their casket being lowered in to the ground and then covered up. A small monument is placed at it's head, telling who, what, and when. At first the place is visited often, and then forgotten. Not the person, just the place. The memory becomes the monument, and the place becomes simply a way for closure. The body is empty, and the soul has found another home. All of which is so far away from the lives of those who knew the person. Measured by the depth of the earth covering the empty body, or by another world. I'll conclude my analyzing by saying, loss has nothing to do with it.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Absent in body and soul.
When I was younger and someone in my life would die, people would say, "I'm sorry for your loss." I used to think, "...but I haven't lost them. Where'd they go if they're lost?" Ha. I know now they were talking about a loss in my life. Perhaps a better would could be an absence, a disappearance or something of that kind. Because I didn't lose them. I could still see and touch the person(in most cases). If they were lost I wouldn't be able to find them. Poor chose of words if you really want to analyze it. It's more like an absence of the persons soul. A disappearance of WHO they were, not the appearance. One minute the person is there, the next your staring at their empty body and in most cases it looks nothing like the person. So strange. People describe it as sleep but one look and you know they're not sleeping. I can't feel them anymore. It's like someone made a manikin of the person and put it in their clothes and put it on display. At least that's what I always felt like, like what the heck is this?